Author Topic: A joke or two. :) :)  (Read 8612 times)

hammy

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #375 on: April 16, 2017, 05:39:48 PM »
 :) :) :)
You know nothing, Jon Snow.

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #376 on: April 30, 2017, 05:39:04 AM »

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #377 on: May 05, 2017, 02:10:20 PM »
A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny
mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the
top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without
underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you
looking at my pussy?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes.
"It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch
this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows
him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else
the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman.
The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit
next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over
and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"

Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!"




*

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #378 on: May 07, 2017, 09:59:11 AM »
I've probably posted this before but you must forgive my Alzheimers. I just find it very funny.

https://biggeekdad.com/2012/05/the-jovers/

.

JillyB

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #379 on: May 07, 2017, 11:51:09 AM »
Absolutely hilarious , loved it !!! ;D  I love her, she`s great !
The Road To My Heart Is Paved With Paw Prints

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #380 on: May 14, 2017, 05:59:17 PM »
Radio 4 today replayed a rare interview with Denis Thatcher.
He recounted that he once was on a very crowded train from Paddington, but found a section of seats reserved for the 'Rosemount Mental Home'.
He settled himself in the corner. At Reading a group of people with a very nervous looking mental nurse boarded. The nurse started counting his charges: "one, two three four, five......ermmm, who are you?"
"I'm the husband of the Prime Minister"
".......six, seven, eight........"

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #381 on: June 29, 2017, 07:40:12 PM »

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #382 on: June 30, 2017, 02:06:45 PM »
My bear’s diarrhea problem’s beginning to worry me.


The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

JillyB

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #383 on: June 30, 2017, 03:02:36 PM »
I shake my head in wonder... ;)

My next door neighbour is 96 years old and doesn`t need glasses............ She drinks everything straight from the bottle.
The Road To My Heart Is Paved With Paw Prints

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #384 on: July 04, 2017, 04:51:05 PM »

hammy

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #385 on: July 04, 2017, 06:27:58 PM »
 :) :) :)
You know nothing, Jon Snow.

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #386 on: July 28, 2017, 08:25:55 PM »
Paddy buys a bath but takes it back the next day complaining that the water keeps running out.

The manager asks " Did you buy a plug?"

Paddy says " You twat! You never said it was electric".  :)

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #387 on: July 31, 2017, 05:50:50 PM »
I went in to Harrods today for some Hot Dogs. The rather posh young man said "I only have them in brine".

"That's OK" I replied. "I didn't even know they came in other colours!"

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #388 on: August 11, 2017, 11:04:59 AM »
David Beckham gets into a Taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror.

After about 5 minutes the driver says,"OK. Give Me A Clue".


Beckham says," I had a glittering career at Manchester United, played in America and got over
a hundred caps for England, Is that enough?"


Driver Replied, "No, you thick twat, where do you want to go to ?"

kindredspirit

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Re: A joke or two. :) :)
« Reply #389 on: August 19, 2017, 08:40:53 AM »